Why Comparing Yourself to Others Is Holding Many Sierra Leonean Youths Back
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| A single unburnt matchstick among burnt ones symbolizes the importance of avoiding comparison and embracing your unique journey. |
Have you ever opened Facebook or TikTok for "just five minutes," only to end up questioning your entire life?
You see someone your age buying a new car. Another announces a scholarship abroad. Someone else is opening a business. Before you know it, you're asking yourself one painful question:
"What am I doing with my life?"
If that sounds familiar, you're not alone.
Contents
Many young people in Sierra Leone are silently fighting a battle that nobody talks about enough. It's not unemployment. It's not lack of opportunities.
It's comparison.
Here's the surprising part, though.
Comparison isn't always the enemy.
Used wisely, it can push you to grow. Used carelessly, it can steal your confidence, your happiness, and even your future.
I've spoken with students, young entrepreneurs, graduates, and job seekers over the years. One pattern keeps showing up. The people who grow the fastest don't compare themselves with everyone. They compare themselves with purpose.
Let's talk about the difference.
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Read More →Why Comparison Has Become So Common in Sierra Leone
Life today looks very different from ten years ago.
Almost everyone has a smartphone. Social media is everywhere. Success stories travel faster than ever.
The problem?
People usually post their victories.
Very few post the sleepless nights, the failed interviews, the rejected visa applications, the business losses, or the depression they experienced before succeeding.
As a result, many Sierra Leonean youths are comparing their everyday struggles to someone else's highlight reel.
That's an unfair competition.
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| . On the left, you see the digital highlight reel that most people present to the world—smiles, success, and curated victories. On the right is the unseen reality of the journey: the fatigue, the struggles, and the quiet resilience |
Is Comparison Always Bad?
No.
Comparison itself isn't bad.
It's how you use it that matters.
Think of comparison like fire.
Fire can cook your food.
Fire can also burn your house.
The same thing happens with comparison.
When Comparison Is Actually Good
It Gives You Direction
Sometimes you don't know what's possible until you see someone else achieve it.
Maybe another Sierra Leonean student wins an international scholarship.
Instead of feeling jealous, you start researching how scholarships work.
That comparison opened your eyes.
Without it, you might never have applied.
It Motivates You to Improve
Healthy comparison asks:
"What can I learn from this person?"
Unhealthy comparison asks:
"Why am I not like this person?"
There's a huge difference.
The first question leads to growth.
The second usually leads to frustration.
It Helps You Raise Your Standards
Imagine a young tailor in Bo.
He notices another tailor producing cleaner designs and attracting more customers.
Instead of gossiping or feeling bitter, he learns better sewing techniques, improves customer service, and upgrades his shop.
That's comparison working in a positive way.
Everyone wins.
It Inspires Bigger Dreams
Many successful Sierra Leoneans became ambitious because they saw someone from a similar background succeed.
Sometimes you need proof that success is possible.
Positive role models provide exactly that.
When Comparison Becomes Dangerous
Now let's talk about the side people rarely admit.
Comparing Different Starting Points
This happens every day.
You're comparing yourself to someone whose parents paid for university.
Someone who inherited a business.
Someone living abroad.
Someone with connections.
Meanwhile, you're supporting your family while studying.
Those aren't equal situations.
Your journey deserves its own timeline.
Chasing Someone Else's Definition of Success
Not everyone wants the same life.
Some people want corporate jobs.
Others want businesses.
Some want to become teachers.
Others dream of becoming content creators.
If you keep chasing what impresses other people instead of what fulfills you, you'll stay unhappy no matter how much money you make.
Social Media Makes Everyone Look Rich
This is one of the biggest traps affecting young people today.
A rented car becomes "my new ride."
A borrowed house becomes "my mansion."
An expensive meal becomes "my lifestyle."
What you don't see is the debt behind the picture.
Don't compare your reality with someone's carefully edited content.
Comparison Can Destroy Confidence
Confidence disappears slowly.
First, you stop celebrating your own progress.
Then you start believing you're behind.
Soon, you stop trying altogether.
That's where comparison becomes dangerous.
Why Many Sierra Leonean Youths Feel Left Behind
There are several reasons.
Limited Job Opportunities
Finding employment isn't easy.
Watching classmates find jobs while you're still searching can feel painful.
But timing isn't everything.
Many successful people started later than expected.
Family Pressure
Parents naturally want the best for their children.
Unfortunately, comparisons sometimes become part of family conversations.
"Look at your cousin."
"Your friend already graduated."
"Your neighbor built a house."
While these comments may be intended as motivation, they often create unnecessary pressure.
The Pressure to "Make It" Early
Social media has created the idea that success must happen before age 25.
Reality says otherwise.
Some businesses succeed at 22.
Others succeed at 40.
Neither story is wrong.
How to Compare Yourself in a Healthy Way
Compare Skills, Not Lifestyles
Instead of asking:
"Why is he richer than me?"
Ask:
"What skill helped him earn that income?"
Skills can be learned.
Someone else's bank account cannot.
Compare Your Present to Your Past
This is one of the healthiest habits I've seen.
Ask yourself:
- Am I better than last year?
- Have I learned something new?
- Have I become more disciplined?
- Have I improved my communication?
Those comparisons actually build confidence.
Learn Instead of Envying
Whenever someone succeeds, become curious.
Read their story.
Study their habits.
Ask respectful questions if possible.
Success leaves clues.
Reduce Social Media If It Affects Your Mental Health
Take breaks.
Unfollow accounts that constantly make you feel inadequate.
Follow people who educate, inspire, and teach practical skills.
Protecting your mind isn't weakness.
It's wisdom.
Focus on Building Your Own Story
Nobody remembers the person who copied everyone else.
People remember those who stayed consistent.
Your story doesn't have to look like someone else's to be valuable.
A Realistic Example
Imagine two friends finishing secondary school.
One immediately gets a scholarship overseas.
The other stays in Sierra Leone, starts learning graphic design online, and begins freelancing.
Five years later, both are successful.
Different paths.
Different timelines.
Same destination.
Neither journey was wrong.
Life isn't a race with one finish line.
What Results Should You Expect?
Changing your mindset won't happen overnight.
Here's a realistic timeline.
Week 1–2
You'll become more aware of how often you compare yourself.
That's already progress.
Month 1
You'll begin celebrating small wins instead of only noticing what others have.
Your confidence starts improving.
Three to Six Months
With consistent focus, you'll spend more energy improving yourself than worrying about other people.
That's where real growth begins.
Remember, changing habits takes patience.
The goal isn't to stop comparing forever.
The goal is to compare in healthier ways.
Practical Steps You Can Start Today
- Write down three things you've achieved this year.
- Unfollow five social media accounts that make you feel discouraged.
- Choose one skill to improve this month.
- Celebrate one small win every week.
- Spend more time learning than scrolling.
Small actions repeated consistently create big changes.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is comparing yourself to others always a bad thing?
No. Comparison becomes helpful when it motivates you to learn new skills or improve yourself. It becomes harmful when it makes you feel worthless or constantly behind.
Why do Sierra Leonean youths compare themselves so much?
Social media, family expectations, unemployment, and the pressure to succeed early all contribute. Many young people only see other people's successes, not the struggles behind them.
How can I stop feeling jealous of other people's success?
Instead of asking why they succeeded, ask what you can learn from their journey. Focus on building your own skills and remember that everyone has a different starting point.
Is social media causing more comparison among young people?
Yes, for many people. Social media often shows the best moments of someone's life while hiding the challenges. Taking regular breaks and following educational content can help.
What should I compare instead of comparing my life?
Compare your current self with who you were six months or one year ago. Personal progress is a much healthier measure of success.
Final Thoughts
Comparison is neither completely good nor completely bad.
It's a tool.
Used wisely, it motivates, teaches, and inspires.
Used carelessly, it steals joy, confidence, and peace of mind.
Your journey will never look exactly like someone else's, and that's perfectly okay.
The world doesn't need another copy of someone successful.
It needs the best version of you.
Your Next Action (15 Minutes)
Take out a notebook and write down five ways you've grown in the last year—skills you've learned, challenges you've overcome, or habits you've improved. Then choose one small goal you'll work on this week instead of worrying about someone else's progress.
Remember this: The only person you're truly competing with is the version of yourself that gave up yesterday.
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